My say .

2009-02-12T14:14:00.001+08:00

我是喜歡你，我不去愛你

喜歡你，我可以偷偷地欣賞

遠遠地隔着玻璃跟你打招呼

喜歡你，我可以竊竊地笑

把你侃得躺在地上起不來

我是喜歡你，我不去愛你

愛你，我會患得患失

愛你，我會沒了自己

愛你，我的心情從此由你來主宰

愛你，我的情緒波動太大

我是喜歡你，我不去愛你

喜歡你，我會感激你對我的幫助

喜歡你，我對你的短信會發出會心的一笑

喜歡你，我可以聽你講你心中的秘密

喜歡你，我會把你當哥們一樣使來喚去

我是喜歡你，我不去愛你

愛你，我會對你的要求越來越多

愛你，我會對你諸多挑剔

愛你，收不到你的短信我會徹夜無眠

愛你，我看不慣你對其它的女孩子微笑

我是喜歡你，我不去愛你

喜歡你，我可以慢慢地品味咖啡的味道

細細地品讀你的心情文字

喜歡你，我會在有月的夜晚偶然想起你

在記憶中搜尋你的足迹

喜歡你，我會在雪地裏笑得很燦爛

喜歡你，我會對着一朵花微笑

我是喜歡你，我不去愛你

愛你，我的世界從此變得狹小

再也容不下任何東西

愛你，我會在布滿陽光的早晨手足無措

因爲你的一句無關痛癢的戲語

愛你，我會聽了某首曲子後淚流滿面

愛你，我會懷都著殘杯顧影自憐

我是喜歡你，因爲我要和你做一生一世的朋友

我不去愛你，因爲我擔心有一天會失去你

我只喜歡你，因爲我要把那些愉快的往事懸掛在窗前

在有風的晚上細細地品味甜蜜情誼的芳香

我不去愛你，因爲我不想讓孤獨寂寞從此愛上了我

我不想讓淚水浸濕了一個個古老的歌謠

2009-02-03T15:57:00.001+08:00

Nd I suddenly miss my pri sch classmates . D:

2009-02-03T14:03:00.003+08:00

I'm behaving way too positive, nd it's just ain't right at all.
I'm going to have split personality soon if I continues this way.
I can be taling abt him nd suddenly become another person nd tell my ownself to shutup.
Gosh, I'm like nuts.

My heart's aching yet I pretended so well, or rather, too well.
Shocked by my ownself too.
Maybe you guys already think I'm over him, but well, I'm not yet.
Maybe a lil near to getting over?
Jees.
I've always been so contradict.

Nd yesterday had food poisoning, aft eating 12 "poisoned" chicken wings.
See, this is how I react to sadness, nd it's to eat nd eat nd eat.
Ended up, waking up at 1am nd vommit all th way to 8am.
Thn, went to see a doctor nd ate th medicine.
Aft a short nap, I woke up nd vomited agn.
Everything I ate just came out on it's own, including th mandrain orange I ate two days ago.
Wtfcukkkk, has my body system shut down already or wht.
Gross.

Sometimes, I really don't feel like talking.
Emotions always run arnd me nd tears just flow.
I know it's stupid to cry in class, yet I've always been doing so.
Not tht I want to, is because I still feel badly hurt.
Tried to hold back my tears but it's really breathetaking.

Until I lost you, I didn't realised how much I love you.
All human beings are th same, we regret only aft we've lost it.
It's always been this way.
I won't say IfIfIfIf anymore, because If is such a stupid word.
Nobody could turn back time nd make changes.
Well, not all loses are bad.
Sometimes, we lost nd realise how to treasure.

Teehees.
By thinking positively is a total chnge of me, right?
I've always been th kind emoemo, everything also negative de pessimist sial.
Now, suddenly become so optimistic is quite a dramatic chnge?
Hmms.
Maybe you've woke me up from my fairytale tht I'm not part of th story.

I still love you, but I know, I'll let go. (:

曾经的单纯的誓言换来只有心痛 .
现在, 我们都不能像以前一样了 .
今天的我已近会自我保护了 .

2009-02-01T08:35:00.002+08:00

I feel.. unwanted .
I'm not a friendly friend, not a good listener, not a nice classmate.
I'm not a splendid girlf too, I've always been th lousiest .
I give you stress, I makes you runaway.
I broke his heart nd crushed myself.

Guess I've really ruined myself badly, just for his attention.
Got his attention, lost myself.
I'm not me anymore, really.

So many secrets yet I can't find a single soul to talk to.

I feel dirty, I can't washed away every memory of you.
Every place we've gone, I avoids.
People asks if I still love you, I don't know, I thought I don't know.
But whn tears starts to flow, I realised, I still do.
I still love this heartless guy, whm I thought I've got over.

Get over?
It's easier to be spoken thn to be done .

I'm not part of your future, never part of.
All your lies.
24 get married? 27 have children?
2nd month? Half year?
It was a lie all along .

2009-01-30T13:50:00.004+08:00

I'm fcuked up, thnks to my bloody father nd sister.
Wtfcuk, I use comp thy also jiaowei.
Honggan la horhs.
Nabei Chyebai larhs.
This few year I've been super vulgar derhs.
Like wtfcuk is wrong w thm.

Sch's boring as usual .

2009-01-29T14:11:00.004+08:00

Alot of people's missing from my everyday life.

Whr were tht Pangpang wh always hit hke w Leemei together?
We used to never failed to drop by tht place no matter how busy or late we were.
We used to always know almost everybody thr.
We used to get a chance to play everytime we're thr.

Whr were tht Pangpang wh always go to js to find my dear friends?
We used to always hurl vulgarities at each other.
We used to eat macdonalds everyday.
We used to play poker together.

Whr were tht Pangpang wh always go working w Iris?
We used to have so much to say.
We used to gossip abt everything.
We used to shop everytime we're out together.

Whr were tht Pangpang wh always have so many complains to Yihuan?
We used to sit at th void deck nd talk for hours.
We used to talk about everything under th sun.
We used to go to sch together everyday.

Now, everything's just not th same.

I miss grandpa, badly miss him.
Memories of you chasing aft me to feed me, memories of you coming to Singapore to accompany me, memories of you.
Th memories are so precious nd thy'll be kept in my heart forever.
我相信在天上的你一定会看着我，一定看得到我的努力。
永远是你最疼的孙女…

2009-01-28T14:49:00.002+08:00

It was a not-happy-at-all cny for me. D:
Damn fcuking bitch, spoilt my originally-v-happy mood.
I look different from my parents is none of your fcuking prob.
Thnks for spoiling th first day of cny, bitch.
Thnks for letting me witness wht 三姑六婆 do, bitch.
Freak sial, spoilt my day.
Made me sibei dulan norhs, nabei chyebai kanina.
Honggan narhs. D:

I admit, I don't look like my parents.
Not a single bit, so wht?!
I look exactly like my siblings whn I was young.
Everybody changes how thy look as thy grows up, right?
Look at how much you've chnged.
From a baby to a old auntie, w wrinkles, nd so uncouth.
I give you face, because you're old.
If not, tmd, I'll just shout at you nd make you immediately vommit blood.
You think just because you're my elder, I have to be fcuking scared of you?
Damn.
Wh gives a fcuking damn to you.
I doubt anybody will like you in th whole family larhs.
Nd, I think your family members must be ashamed to be seen w you.
If thy aren't, thy should be.
Do you know, do you know?
Damn.

I am just so mad abt wht she said, nd she just shuangshuang jiu scold me.
Nabei.
I'm not your son, just your bro's daughter, do you fcuking know?
Fcuk off from my life, bitch.
I don't ever want to see you agn.

Chill. (:

Really, I've let go.
Not going to cry, not going to miss you.
Aft every relationship, we all want to find a better one.
I regret being w you, it's just sosososo hard to find one better thn you.
下定决心,不会再爱了.

Why are all th horoscopes book says taurus this year got alot of 烂桃花?
Gosh, x.x
I think I'm experiencing it already.

Really don't want to get into any serious bgr this year. (:

2009-01-23T09:54:00.003+08:00

Alright, I was bloghopping nd I passed by a dog's blog.
Gosh, dogs uses computer nowadays.
Somemre, tht dog is one tht has a vagina nd talk cock.

I don't like you either, dog. (:

Blahblahblahblah.
I got to know how my attitude prob sucks like shytzxzxzxzx.
But, come on, I don't have remember a think.
Maybe I do have split personality? Haha.
Will try to chnge my attitude prob though, because I don't really like it too.
Not tht I purposely want to give people attitude, but it happened under circumstances whr I don't even realise.
So, sorry guys. D:

Whn I'm happy, I smiles.
Whn I'm sad, I still smile.

Leaving Singapore later, xoxo!
Will be back soon nd will update w photo! :D

I badly miss you, but I'll be fine.

2009-01-22T15:36:00.002+08:00

A piece of my heart is missing, nd I think I know whr it is.

Sometimes, it's just so hard to breathe.
Thnks to everybody wh stood by me, those wh lend me their shoulder, those wh lend me their ears.
It's you guys wh makes everything worthwhile.

I'm ~~useless~~, I'm thr to be loved. (:
Stand strong, nd smile.
Nothing's going to break me apart.

2009-01-21T16:30:00.003+08:00

You'll never know, you're th reason for th tears .

I'm breaking down, all over agn.

~~210920081421~~
You said you'll never hurt me.
You said to beware of others.
You said love.

Whn every word pierce deep into my heart .

2009-01-21T14:57:00.003+08:00

I'm useless .
I made up my mind to give up, yet I sat in class, crying.

My heart aches .

Still loving, still madly loving this guy call Cher De Jian.
Still loving, still madly loving this guy wh don't love me anymore.
Still loving, still madly loving this guy I'm dying to have.
Still loving, still madly loving this guy wh told me to give up .

Smile, I'm going to be fine. (:

Ps, Yihuan nd Leemei are fierce.

2009-01-20T17:05:00.003+08:00

Smiling is th best way to cover all th tears . (:

You won't ever know how I trembles whn you look into my eys.
You won't ever know tht I loved your kisses so much.
You won't ever know how sexy you look whn you're horny.
You won't ever know why my heart hurts.
You won't ever know being w you is like fairytale.
I've locked my tears nd clenched my fist tight.
Not going to be th one upset over a lost relationship.

I'm going to be fine, soon.
No matter how much I've forked out for you, you're too blind to see already.
You believes in everybody but not me.

All tht was memories.
Th way you tell me you're madly in love w me.
How you asked me to be your girl.
Th warmth I held tight, whn you gave me your hand.
Our first kiss.
Tht day you hugged me.
Whn you sang for me.
Sleeping in your arms..

Th starting was all so sweet, yet you choose to let it go haywire.
I loved you so badly, yet you hurt me agn nd agn.
Badly hurt, really so badly hurt.

I'm putting up a smile.
To move on, to get over you, to laugh whn I hear your name.

All you wanted me to do, I can't.
I've lost my way, nd I could never turn back anymore.
Love?
I'm tired of it.

You gave me th love I want, nd thn slashed my heart.
Blood has been dripping, now it's drying..

My heart has died.
My tears has dried.
My love has vanished into th thin air, too.

2009-01-19T15:16:00.004+08:00

Only needed a person to dote on me . {/♥}

I know I have to let go, but I can't.
Th feeling's so miserable, so breathe-taking, so tight.
I'm tired, too.
I'm making your life terrible, but did you know your departure hurts so much more?

Hold me one day, love me one night .

/ My heart's bleeding .
For th guy I love, so dearly.

63 days aft our breakup, I'm still missing you.
Neverthless, still loving you .

I'VE MURDERED MY PHONE .
Don't contact me these few days/weeks/months/years/decades .

2009-01-18T07:04:00.002+08:00

&nd I never felt any worser thn this.

It's my heart tht is controlling me, not my brain. Brain, please work for oh my goodness sake. I want to link up everything to make some sense out of it. Yet, all I could ever do is to cry nd cry nd cry. D:

My heartache is going to take years to heal.
I want to move on, need to move on nd I know I have to.
Move on, move on, move on..
I don't have to cry for a jerk like him.

Arghhh.
Fcuk _l_

2009-01-17T18:22:00.002+08:00

分手第61天,强忍的眼泪还是落下了.

我要哭,哭到我死掉.
我不想走下去,我真的很累很累.
每天醒来,是无奈.
我没有未来.

我的心真的很痛很痛..

就算是知道要放手,还是放不了.
我需要你,你知道吗? ..

2009-01-17T17:51:00.002+08:00

Blahblahblhblah.. D;

My fcuked up life, which I can do nothing to make it seems better.
I need motivation.
Nobody's going to clear up th mess I made, only I have to.
Screw it all up, damn it.

2009-01-17T10:42:00.002+08:00

I've lost th defination of love.
Find it back for me, will you?

Th only thing I could do for you, is to let you go, to find your happiness.

2009-01-15T22:57:00.003+08:00

You broke me into pieces.

I'm fcuking tired, yet I never could close my eye. All tht was in my mind are just you. Why? A hug can crush me, a kiss can drunk me. Did you ever know? I don't like th live I'm living. This just ain't right, everything's just fcuking wrong. Feel oh so stressed out, just want to sleep nd never wake up anymore. Crush me, drunk me agn, will you? Strained out of emotions nd thoughts. Wht tht was mine, just don't belongs anymore. I need you, oh so badly. My love's dying, do you know? My life's revolving arnd you, can you see?

Love me agn, will you?

Dejian, I really love you alot alot..
I just can't let go, just simply can't..

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD':

I'm ruining my life, to prove to you my existance.
Yet you, just don't care.

Darling, we break barhs.
I can't squeeze a space for you in my heart..
If I had known you before him, things wouldn't be th same.
But all are 'if's, nd we never could turn back time.
You're my best listener, but you'll never be th one I'm going to live w forever.
Don't love me anymore, find your own happiness barhs.

2009-01-13T20:39:00.002+08:00

I feel so squeezed, till I can't catch my breathe.
All tht were mine, ain't mine anymore.
Because of my fcuking attitude problem, I lost so many people arnd me.
I want to treat myself better, but ended up hurting others.
Wht do I truly want?
I'm confused, everything just doesn't seems right.
Smiling to everybody everyday, yet my heart just sank down.
I'm carrying an invsible burden which I can't throw away.
Don't want to let my mood affect th ones arnd me.
No matter wht happens, I put on a strong front, not going to cry.
I feel like a clown, a clown wh brings laughter to others but could only cry on my own.
This just ain't me.

2009-01-12T17:01:00.002+08:00

Tired.

To me, everything seemed like a fairytale.
So are you.

I badly miss leemei nd yihuan. D:

211208 or or 090109?
当每天你们给我的爱更多,我就是越在痛苦之中.
Because I know, inside my heart, thr's this person, wh occupied my entire heart.

我愿意为了看你得到快乐，牺牲自己的幸福……
为了你哭太多次了，为了你睡不着太多晚了，为了你我很愿意……
我只不过是个大笨蛋，一直在等你的那个我……
就算已经知道我们再不可能……

2009-01-11T19:13:00.002+08:00

變心的男人如同上了岸的魚，回不了頭了。

2009-01-11T15:06:00.000+08:00

My phone is spammed by a number I don't even recognize.
Messages nd calls, wtheckkkk! T.T

My stupid se w910's memory card died. T_________T
How can I express my sadness?
No more funny videos to laugh at, no more lalala-ing w music, no nice nice themes to beutify my ugly phone, no more th photos of him.
But thr's weird weird files in tht stupid memory card.
Any kind souls willing to buy a 2gb memory card for my stupid phone? D;
Aww, I'm thinking of modifying th phone. ;xx

Darling finally messaged me last night.
Thn he tell me th person tht messaged me, whm I scolded, was his friend?
Laughoutloudloudloud. :D
Wh tell him say stupid things make me angry lerhs.
Orbiquak!

2009-01-10T20:12:00.000+08:00

Was condemed at Bobby's house lurhs. He slept like a log, everything I bug him, he will scold me. T.T! I was so god damn hungry but he don't want accompany me go angmokio hub buy food. Thn I watch tv, fall asleep thn wake up, watch tv, fall asleep agn over nd over agn. His father came home nd opened th door to take a look nd I immediately stood up. Thn it was his mother, thn his younger brother. His brother is cute lerhs, keep on call him korkor, me jiejie. Haha. Why his brother is so much more adorable thn him uhs? ;x Luckily, whn I walk out of his room to go toilet, his maid volunteered to give me food. Yayeeee! Thn I was full nd I went home on my own. Think he haven't realised I've went home le barhs. ;xx

我永遠不可能變成公主，因為王子不愛我。
Th prince I need is still you, 210908.
Passed by b.gombak twice, passed by your house twice nd tears just flow on it's own..
I'm so willing to change to be th one you want, did you ever knew?
Whn I started falling madly for you, you left me.
Boy, whr are you? ..

Alright, darling didn't contact me aft I scolded him off today.
Wtheckkkk.

2009-01-09T20:53:00.001+08:00

090109, th day I got together w my boyf. (:

Went to meet xxxx at lakeside mrt station, thn cabbed to his house. We crapped nd thn he send me to serangoon mrt station nd I went home. He paid for everything worhs, so sweet of him. ;xx Nd, he's just my gankor larhs. 24, single nd available. But going overseas in a few mths time for studies. Promoting my gankor here. Haha.

Boyf, I know you're leaving singapore on 15th Feb nd maybe will not coming back anymore. I know I'm not going to be fine, but let's just treasure these few days we have together..

2009-01-08T15:17:00.000+08:00

He was originally meeting me at lakeside, but he was busy nd tired. Hence, he arranged to meet at angmokio, but because my ezlink card has no money, I bus-ed to toapayoh. He told me to call him whn I'm about to reach toapayoh, thn he will come down to meet me from angmokio. Thn he called nd tell me to cab to his house, thn call him to come down to pay th cab fare. By tht time, I was already fed up nd hence, bus-ed home.

Th point is, I've travelled so far to meet you. Thn you say you v tired etc etc nd want me to go to your house on my own. I'm not desperate for you, jerk. I don't need a boyf like you. Fcuk off.

一面已有裂痕的鏡子，照出來的影像絕對會變形扭曲，不可能完美無缺。

2009-01-07T16:08:00.000+08:00

Today went to yishun for th social etiquette workshop, th food was kanasai, nd caused me to had stomachache.
My stomach has always been so sensetive lurhs, x.x
But th good thing was their presenters were really good, th workshop is fun, just fcuking coldddd.

I have to do mindmap for ss chapt 2, 3, 4 nd 6 on drawing block.
I also have to memorise chapt 5 headings for tomorrow's mini test.
Nd, I have a bio test tomorrow too.

Can you understand how much I dread going to sch tomorrow?
Feel like pon, but whr to go? T____T

Hmms, one more days to meixuan's bday nd two to yihuan's bday.

Strained out of emotions, were crying.
I missed those times we were together.
Those times will never be back, so are you.

2009-01-06T15:42:00.000+08:00

So, I've been behaving ohmygawddddddd crazily these two days.

I fell in l♥ve agn, w my gandear. He loves me nd I love him, so why don't stead lerhs? Because I want wait until I feel he's th right one for me thn stead. Blahblahblah. I'm really scared already. So must think properly thn decide. ;x Ps, he's same height as me, but he looks shorter.

Lololol.

I've been stupidly carrying tons of books to sch, to realise tht we don't have lessons tht day. Wtheck, right?

Okay, time to go nd study.
Byeeeeeee! ^^

2009-01-04T10:27:00.000+08:00

Wht tht still hurts, is your accuses nd don't believes.

Sick, hence my moodswingzxzxzxzx.
Was supposed to meet up w somebody but I was sick, so sorry uhs.
Poor him lurhs, he went ktv-ing last night nd didn't slept to make sure he's not late.
Thn I last min tell him can't meet him lers.
Poor him, super duper uber de sorry!

My new year's resolution, get as many As as I could.
It's kind of late to blog abt tht, but still, it's my new year's resolution.
I also want to go overseas w some random people to bond.
I hope my laopa will struck lottery nd give me half of th money.
Laughoutloudloudloudloud! ;x

2009-01-03T19:40:00.000+08:00

I'm crazy, I think. D;

Have been thinking alotalotalotalot these few days.
Life's meaningless.
All I does is study, study nd study.
Nd, have to tolerate my phone's autoshutdown-ness.
Nd, have to listen to my parent's nag all th time.
Nd, more nd more nd more..

I forgot th feeling of happiness.
All th smiles, just ain't me.
I can "haha" nd "lol" all day long even whn I don't want to.
Wht's wrong w me?
I feel so lost, so paranoid.
I want a shoulder to lie on, nd a person to hug me to sleep every night.
42 more days to valentine, wh's going to be my valentine?
You, you, you or you?
I'm just sososososososo confused.
Maybe it's neither of you?
Or maybe I'm still waiting for 011007?
I don't know. T____T

Life's a game.
Play it well or lose it from th start.
It's th real world, your real life, so is everybody's life.
Don't pretend you're fine, because nobody is.'
I'm sick of all these pretendance, just get out of my way whn I'm not in any mood.
I'm not going to fake a smile to anybody anymore.
i want to be selfish, nd treat myself better.

Wht I want, I want to achieve.
Jyjy, I can do it!

2009-01-02T14:50:00.000+08:00

Argghhh, I just can't get over th fact I just screwed it.
T______________________T

Haiya, shit ass larhs. Cheebong. (!!)

So, I'm in 4n2.
It's kinda interesting class whr every sec thr's something going on.
I do feel out, maybe I'm used to just 15 students in class already? x.x
Nd our form tcher is Ms Lui.
Gosh, I do hope she'll forget abt tht sakura "incident".
I've got no direction sense marhs, thn reached thr 3hrs late. x.x
Nd, I just got this superduperuberrrr bad memory, which maybe only allow me to remember necessary stuffs for only 0.01sec?
It was just, oh so hilarious.
Forget it, forget it, forget it.
I want to dig a hole nd hide liao lorhs. ;xx
I'm in charge of planning for events.
Well, I don't want to do anything de lorhs.
But still, have to learn to be responsible barhs.

So, I hate edmund nd I hate edmund nd I hate edmund.
I'm serious.

2009-01-01T15:11:00.000+08:00

Goodbye, 2008.
It has been such a tiring year for me, I guess.
Strained out of emotions to express how much I've gone through.
Perhaps those wh has always been by my side will know how I feels.

Enough of bgr, I will not get involved in any this two years.
Just got to hide under my books nd mug for these two important years for me.
Seriously, I just don't want to miss out anymore.
In one year time, yihuan nd leemei will be graduating.
Nd I'll stay in huayi, whr I should have by thn be graduated.
Came to a sch, w a better score yet having to study one more year thn those wh scored not as good as mine tht year.
Oh well, I'm th one tht is obstructing my own future.
I want my future to be bright, nd I'm going to walk my path th right way.
Not going to go for any shortcuts anymore.

Was wandering last night w yihuan like two pathetic souls. x.x
Sometimes, life's just so aimless.

I miss you, oh so miserably. D;
Blueberry redtea .

2008-12-31T20:55:00.000+08:00

Went to meet my cousin to get my two nokia handphones, nd 10 train tix.
Thn meetup w leemei nd yihuan.
Went hke, thn go eat dessert, thn js, rhn blcc.

Oh well, I'm just so affected by wht tht bubbletea shop aunty said.
We really just don't fit.
You're too handsome for me, like wht she said.
Our looks difference, is just way too much.
Standing beside you, I'm just like a fan beside an idol.
Oh yes, tht time I pei you buy de shaver, please remember to use, bear.

Congrats, yihuan. (:

Nd I'm superduperuber sorry to 01107.
Sorry! D;

Okays, I got to go meet yihuan now.
Hahahahrs.
Going for th sountdown at my hse's downstairs.

2008-12-31T08:36:00.000+08:00

You have to be a public relations officer in order to be a basketballer?
Wht a joke.

Today's th last day of this year, this v eventful year.
I've gone through so many, to have lost all in such a short time.
All tht hurts, still hurts.
Trying to put on a strong front, not going to let tears drop.
Though it has been a sad year for me, I'm not going to regret it.
Grew up way too much, till I don't know wht I'm running from.

You'll be holding her tonight, nd in a few days time, it's yours one month.
We were together only for one month plus, in which on one month, you said you were too tired to meet.
I was such an idiot to believe, you just don't have th heart to meet.
You knew I was sad, nd gave me stupid promises which you'll never be able to make up.
Second month? Third month? Half year?
Wht a bigbigbigbig fattttttt lie.
I want to spend one month w you, I've planned it.
Yet you said you were tired.
I want to intro you to my friends, I've planned it.
You said you don't want, for some idiot reasons I don't understand.
I want to spend last day in Singapore w you whn I left, I've planned it.
I want to spend th day w you whn I'm back, I've planned it.
I want to spend christmas w you, I've planned it.
I want to spend countdown w you, I've planned it all.
Yes, I'm such an idiot.
I want to hold you back, never let you leave.
Yet all I could do, was to fake a smile nd bade you goodbye.
Th minute th mrt pulls from tiongbahru, I know it's all over.
You moved on, w/o even looking back.
I miss you, misearably.

Just give me one last day to miss you, will you? ..

2008-12-29T17:25:00.000+08:00

I've been sleeping like a log for like 9037047648780270 years, x.x
Nd suddenly it struck me, my art! DD':
Wh can give me some inspirations? Wh can might as well draw everything for me? Or wh can just take th exam for me? ..

My sisters are damn irritating lurhs.
Thy make my head goes #@%$^#&(&# de lorhs. T.T!

Th pasar malam downstairs my house is still not ready.
I want to eat chesse hotdog, I want to eat ramily burger, I want to eat candy floss, I want.. D:
By tomorrow, hope it'll be okay lers?
Try to jio iris pei me walk here tomorrow night. ;xx
I suspect I'm a hungry ghost, lol! :s

Yihuan's kind of sad, x.x
Cheerup, my best listener! ^^
Remember, th sky's not going to fall nd no matter wht, everything's going to be fine.
Th rainbow's always thr for me, you nd everybody.
I'll always be right thr for you, like I've always promised.
Cheerup, cheerup, cheerup! ^^

Jerk, I'm over you, totally.

2008-12-28T22:47:00.000+08:00

21 new messages nd 9 miss calls, x.x
I don't know uhs, don't know don't know don't know don't know..
2109 is such a fcuking number larhs.

I miss 011007! D:
How is he doing lerhs? How is his love life? How is his studies?
Can anybody feed me w his ongoings?
I sososososososo worried for his 'N' de sial.
Hope wht I cursed him didn't come true, better don't retain uhs.

I've got sosososososososososo many stuffs to get sial.
Money money, whr are you? x.x
I need to eat chocolate fondue lurhs.
I miss marshmallow, I miss strawberry, I miss kiwi, I miss.. D:
I'm a fatass too, duh!
Ahahahahahahrs.

Talking w edmund does cheer me up abit, thnks ya! ^^
I miss alotalotalotalot of gans sial, whr have all of you flown to?

2008-12-28T20:24:00.000+08:00

Went tpy for work w Iris this morning, but ended up not working nd instead went shopping. ;x
So, I'm once agn broke. x.x
Wtheckheckheck, whr has my money flown to harhs?
If only I could make fast money, but I promised somebody not to lers.
So I better be good, nd go find him for breakfast, lunch nd dinner. ;xx
But he's so nice lurhs, love him damn damn damn lots lurhs.
Ahahahahrs! :D

I fcuking hate this fcuking weather whr we have to fcukingly stand nd fcukingliciously look super weird thr nd fcukeningly low fcuking pay.
I've been "fcuking" arnd today, laughoutloudloudloudloud! ;D
Iris is insane, she want to get alot of tongue studs nd put it inside altogether.
So I suggested to use my middlefinger instead, ahahahahahrs! :D
Suddenly feel like piercing my tongue too, but it's kind of scary. x.x

I'm getting over you, I think.

2008-12-26T20:38:00.001+08:00

I want to move on, but wht else could I do whn all I ever think of, is you?

I know, in your eyes, I'm nothing more thn a whore.
Perhaps, tht's some how others feel of me too.
I think, I'm one too.

Sighs, I'm getting kind of fcuked up by th ongoings everyday.
Nothing seems to be right at all.
I just want to play bball, vball nd sweat out all day long. x.x

Get over you, get over you..
If only I could.

Smile, smile nd smile.
I'm going to be alright, because I promised you I will.

Okay, so I need a longlonglonglong time for me to sleep. x.x
My heavy eyebags, Y.Y!
Suddenly have th urge to go to th library, to read storybook?
But on second thoughts, better don't.
Because I can't lend, why?
Because I've misplaced my library card at home nd I'm just sosososo lazy to find it.
Ahahahaahhars! :D
School's going to start nd I've not yet to start on my art.
My 'N' level art paper is missing?!
Gosh, I'd better find it. x.x

2008-12-26T08:45:00.001+08:00

"我会让自己慢慢放下…
因为爱你而选择放下…
如今的我可能放下了…
可是永永远远会记得…
我曾经爱过的一个你…
因为你曾经让我幸福…"

Happy 3rd Year Buddy-ship Anniversary! :DD

Buddy, iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouuuuuuu! x33s
I never knew I could know somebody so well tht even w a blink, I could know wht you think.
Thnks for all th crazy times we had together, for all th memories we had together.
We'll cont to build our memories together, no matter how many obstructions is going to come on our way.
Me, you nd Mummy Tee will be together forever, like I've always said,
Till Death Do Us Apart. (:

2008-12-25T22:28:00.000+08:00

Nd, I'm SICK! D':

Emo-liciously out of love.
我的心痛，有谁能看到？

抱紧我，别放开，好吗？
你还会心疼我吗，你还会让我依靠吗？
你答应过不会离开我，你答应过你不会像他伤害我一样伤害我…
你说过你真心爱我，你说过你不会这么轻易放下我…
我才傻傻的将我的心给你…
你要的，我都给了…
你却留下一句你累了，就离开我…
你说过的每一句话我都记得…
我说过，如果没有把握一定能完成的诺言请别告诉我…
你说你做得到的，你都忘了吗？
我的爱让你累了，你的累让我心碎了…
你要我遇到朋友时不要放开你的手，你却在遇到朋友时推开了我…
你说我小气，你有没有想过这对我的伤害有多大…
这些小动作，我都很在乎…
我也只不过是个很普通的女生，是会为小事而哭的女生…
每一次出去，你都一次又一次伤害我，你知道吗？
我已经忘了爱，只剩下心灰意冷，只剩下对你的失望，只剩下我恨你…
不再奢望你会回头，因为我的爱已变成恨……

我们说好决不放开相互牵的手
可现实说过有爱还不够
走到分岔的路口
你向左我向右
我们都倔强地不曾回头

我们说好就算分开一样做朋友
时间说我们从此不可能再问候
人群中再次邂逅
你变得那么瘦
我还是沦陷在你的眼眸

/我们说好的,张靓颖

An old song, tht's capable to show wht I'm feeling now.

2008-12-25T02:08:00.000+08:00

Happy Merry Christmas! ^^
Nd happy bday to jiaxin daddy! (:

Was out w leemei nd yihuan to celebrate Christmas Eve nd also 3rd year buddy-ship for me nd leemei. Ate at Plaza Sing de Pizza Hut, yes, it's Pizza Hut agn. Was super duper uber full de lorhs, nd I'm going to grow fatttt at this rate. T.T! I want a more meaningful dinner w thm next year at another diff place, nd must not be Pizza Hut. LaughOutLoudLoudLoudLoud~ I'm kind of sick of it already. ;xx

Walked arnd nd went to Cine for th oh-so-'well' ddr machine. Th right side for player1 nd th front side for player2 are both spoilt, nd made yihuan nd leemei fed up. Thn we went to Kfc to meet guorong, william nd three others whm I don't know. Haha.

Don't know wh th heck suggested to walk towards Orchard Mrt station derhs, at near Wisma thr is fcuking jammed up. I kena pushed by a malay aunty wh apparently forced her way throguh. Hello? You're not tht small size, shame on you for showing bad examples to your two child. Wht th heck lorhs, she was like pushing my waist v roughly. Honggan de narhs. Somemore, whn th place is so jammed up, thr's still people playing a fool. Wht th heck siol.

Whn midnight struck, were you holding her?
I felt my heart ached.
If all these pretendance is going to work, I will want to pretend I'd never known you.
Hold on to my tears, not going to fall.
Every night, I read your messages all over agn nd fall asleep missing you.
I want to hold you tight agn, nd show you how much I've changed for you.
Whn we were together, you were always th one forking out.
It's not tht I cannot see, but I just don't know how to express it out.
Now tht you're gone, th heartache's obvious.
Nd god knows how much I need you back.

男人為性而愛, 女人為愛而性.
Wht a shame.

2008-12-24T12:43:00.000+08:00

Praying super duper uber hard tht my mama or maybe my papa will let me go out! D':

我想每一个人都有自己的心事吧…
太多的秘密，我不懂能告诉谁…
面对每一个不同的人，我都是一个不同的角色…
我渴望你会回来，虽然知道已经不可能…
今天去的地方都有可能遇到你，是害怕也是兴奋…
思念你的体温，思念你的温柔，思念你的一切一切……

2008-12-24T00:46:00.000+08:00

Santa Claus, please grant my wish. Y.Y
I don't need money to fall from sky, I don't need my handphone to start working as good as before agn, I don't need to quarrell w my sister over th usage of this comp.
All I need is a credit card w unlimited balance to appear next to my pillow on 25th Dec.

Went jurongpoint w yihuan nd we met leemei thr, so qiaoooo~ siol.
A,drey's dress is super nice but th one I like costs $99.90 nd it's super loose on me, T.T!
I fell in love w a cap, perhaps going to get couple cap w yihuan.
Mwahaahahahs.
Also maybe th blue tee too! :D
Oh yes, I bought a watch, surprised??
For don't know how many 84373753447years I have not worn one, LOL!
But it's just so nice lurhs. >.<*

&nd TOMORROW IS A NIGHT TO REMEMBER! :DDDD
Also, in 2 days time..
Our 3rd Year Buddy-ship Anniversary! :DD

嘴角勉强撑起了笑, 也要让你看到最后一丝的骄傲.
我明了。
你的离开不是因为我，这是一开始就已经存在的计划。
我的爱是你的棋，每一步都是你的决定。
而她的出现，只不过是个巧合。
曾经那么的在乎你，却在分手后才了解你这个人。
我爱的不是这个你，是会假装对我好的那个你。
那个你，死了。
我的爱，也一起死了…

2008-12-22T21:56:00.000+08:00

Went to meet secretsecretsecret in th morning.
Hugged him like I've never seen him before, lol!
I really do miss him alot lerhs, x.x
Alrights, skipskipskip .
Thn went hke slacked on my own, T.T!
Was supposed to meet leemei in th afternoon.
Didn't expected th afternoon means 3plus, x.x
Yihuan called nd chatted my way home.
Got beepbeepbeepbeep by th cars whn crossing th road, like wtheck sial.
I already walk super fast lers nd th green light is not flashing de lorhs.
Tht unreasonable car owner, you blind is it?!
Ate my lunch nd went to sleep.
But was constantly woke up by lianhuanduoming calls nd messages.
Wtheck siol, I had not had a proper sleep for 72hrs le lerhs.
Ended up, too tired to climb out of bed hence didn't went to meet leemei thy all.

Alrights, I miss alot alot alot alot of you all.
Slowly catch up w you all lerhs, x.x
Must update me w all th ongoings de lerhs.
I love my new guaikia look, though a lil bit nerd larhs.
Hope you guys will like it barhs! ^^

I promise I'll be fine in no time.
Not going shed a tear or blood for you anymore.
Dejian, I give you my blessings.
Last super duper uber longgggggg uhs.

2008-11-20T21:13:00.000+08:00

有一種愛，叫《放棄》。

當你不再愛我，當愛你已成為你的負擔，當相愛已是一種痛苦，那麼，我選擇放棄。

放棄你，是因為愛你。

因為愛你，所以不願看見你不快樂；

因為愛你，所以不願看著你強忍內心的掙扎；

因為愛你，所以不願看見你勉強的笑容；

因為愛你，所以願意放了你。

當愛已成往事，又何必苦苦追尋？

強求得不來幸福，強求只能啦大你我的裂痕，只能加劇你我的痛楚。

如果你真的想走，我無言，只能任你去。

曾經以為你是風箏，我手中握著那根線，無論你飛向何方，我最終都是你的歸屬。

現在終於明白，其實愛你，就不應該束縛你。

“春花秋月何時了，往事知多少？”往事如風，不如讓愛隨風而去。

當一切成空，惟有回憶伴我。

時間能沖淡一切，包括我對你的愛。

不願讓你看見我的眼淚，因為你會心軟，但你不會開心。

因為愛你，所以不會用淚水強留，所以放了你。

你的心已遠去，我又何苦留下你的體？

雖然我渴望天長地久，但如果這只是一種奢求，那我不如只求曾經擁有。

曾經擁有過你的愛，這已足夠。

因為有一種愛，叫做放棄。

放棄不是無私的奉獻。

放棄你，這不僅是對你的愛，更是對我自己的呵護。

放棄你，我會傷心，但我不會後悔。

讓你從我的生命中消失，是因為“長痛不如短痛”。

當我容顏盡老、行將就木，我依然不會後悔。

因為曾經愛過你。

因為愛你，所以希望你快樂。

有人說這個世界不會有永恆的愛情。

你我之間，如果連短暫的愛情也無法存在，不如放開彼此。

愛你，就該讓你去追尋你的幸福。

當你快樂時，我也會快樂。

因為你的一切，我都在意。

如果你要離開我，我不會怪你，只能怪我自己，怪自己太愛你。

也許是我過分的寵溺讓你習慣享受，也許是我過分的放任讓你沒有責任，

也許是我過分的愛憐讓你壓力重重，也許是她美麗的容顏讓你迷向。

只怪你我有緣無分。

當你想要離去，請別管我，你只需告訴我，你不再愛我，你要走。

我一定會讓你走，不會乞求你留下，哪怕聽見自己心碎的聲音。

當你離去，請別再回頭。回頭是一種錯誤，回頭是對你我的不公。

去了，請別再後悔。

因為愛你，就該放了你。

我知道，有一種愛叫做放棄，那是對你最深的愛。